…on Making Thoughts Into Words, Some Bad Blood and A Philosophy From New Epiphanies!

Ahh, internet journal/sounding board/rant station/soapbox/thingy. I’ve missed you.

But you gotta understand baby, it’s been a weird ass week. First attempt was a fail because a friend posted a link that lead to me knee-jerk sharing my poisonous liberal views. Then of course, I realized I was just doing what I chastised others for. So I chastised myself and by the time I was done chastising/researching/quote-searching/PD photo-jacking I realized that sleep would be needed. So off to bed and then post tomorrow. That was the hope anyway but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Because bad shit was brewing!

03-lightning
Heavy handed metaphor! BUM-BUM-BUUUUUUUUM!

Seems rumors were flying about at my current place of employment. Rumors about me. Won’t go into details but let’s just say that, well according to the gossips, the following images would have the exact opposite effect on me than what they did when I found them.

c3e9T“Ewwww, look at those mildew stains. That’s just poor home maintenance.”

sexy-girls-tight-dresses-42“Those windows are DISGUSTING!”

 


I could post more pics, but I think I’ve proven my point.

But the accusations would keep me distracted, so naturally I wasn’t really in the mood to post. Eventually though, my name was cleared.

Sent a text to a friend to let her know what was going on and she tells me that a lot has been on her mind and an old familiar demon was permeating her words. And of course when I say permeating I mean she was blatantly stating what was on her mind because Tony doesn’t do good with subtlety.

resized_Vb7IEqG“What did you mean when you said ‘Duck’?”

I’m gonna get a little philosophical here for a bit.

Maybe it will help shed some light. So let’s talk about my favorite subject for a second.

9h7H6Nice try sexy Star Trek nerd, but no. You’re not the topic.

As much as I wish she was, she isn’t. No, right now I’m going to talk about me. But I’m gonna bare a little. Sit down. I didn’t mean like that.

[Side story 1]
One day I was talking to my oldest sister about this girl I was chatting up – no, not that one – and was saying that she seemed pretty cool. “Gonna ask her out?” she asked. “I was thinking about it. She seems cool.” “So, by cool you mean ‘you think she’s alright for now until you get to know her better and she starts to bore you at which point you’ll break up with her’?” “I don’t-” Didn’t even get to finish the sentence. Sis gave me a look and the other two sisters in the room – I have five total; yepp, I’m an only son and the middle child as well – were sharing her look. Was that really what I do? Leave when I’m bored? Or at least self sabotage? “Not always”. They explained. Their were some cases where it would’ve proved the exceptions. But as a whole……

[Side story 2]
Some people I know tend to describe me as arrogant. Very much so. Just a real cocky attitude and arrogant nature. Whenever it is mentioned I tend to ask “how so?” followed by “citation needed”. In most cases cited as examples it stems from my blatantly stating when I’m bored with a conversation….

I told those two stories to tell this story. I had an epiphany. And in some way, I think it relates to my friends story.

I get bored. I don’t mean ‘nothing-to-do-because-I-lack-the-energy-or-creativity-to-keep-myself-entertained’ bored. Nope. I mean the ‘this-seriously-lacks-any-real-entertainment-value’ bored. Like, if shit doesn’t keep me entertained then I don’t like it. If it doesn’t stimulate me in any particular way, then I’m not gonna waste my time. It’s as plain as that. “God you’re a jerk!” I get that one when someone is talking to me and I stop them with “I don’t mean to be rude, but this story is putting me to sleep” or “I’m sorry, I missed some of what you said because I stopped paying attention.” Which, yeah I can see where people think I’m a jerk or asshole or magnificent bastard. But in most cases it’s from people who say silly shit like “I just don’t like reading” or “I don’t like art” or “it is difficult for me to formulate my own opinions and I’m not really good with context clues and interpreting body language or deductive reasoning or informed theories or things in general”. Yeah, those type of people are fast-tracked to boring town.

And that. lads and gents is how I got the label arrogant. As for the cocky label….well, here’s the part that will be the roughest pill to swallow. It was very important in my family to never assume anything of any man or woman. And although it is human nature to be – even if in the smallest way – judgmental, I pride myself on working everyday to never assume the worst of any human being. But I will only let you people see what you want to see. And for some reason it’s always the wrong assumption. Quick example. Some patrons were praising the food I had prepared. But I had not prepared all of it. Their favorite part of the meal was actually prepared by another cook. So I told them who prepared it. And then complimented how good a cook she is. Later the waitress said she was surprised that someone as cocky as me would allow credit go to someone else. Out of nowhere the epiphany hit me. A defining moral code that can describe everything that this post has been leading to.  What I said to her follows:

“I’m jaded because no one has believed I can do better than them. I’m cynical because no one thinks I can do better than them. I’m cocky because I believe I can do better than them. I’m arrogant because I know I can do better than them. And finally, I’m Tony because I know I can do better than myself.”

Now we can get back to my favorite topic!

friday-dopamine-dump-2023STUPID DICK-THEMED NERD JOKES!

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2 Responses to “…on Making Thoughts Into Words, Some Bad Blood and A Philosophy From New Epiphanies!”

  1. I love your quote at the end. It’s golden. 🙂

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