…on The Art of Bullet Dodging

It’s a subtle art that calls for grace and agility. And it should be mastered by every one. Even the belligerent like myself.

Let’s back up.

A few weeks ago I posted about a gal I was fancying and how I felt about gender assumptions. Well, I was approaching this one cautiously. Sought council with trusted friends. Had established a network of agents to operate and gather intel in my absence. A very good approach to any situation. (And they said I was crazy for reading Sun Tzu…..truthfully nobody has said that. But this is my blog so let’s all just pretend they did. I’m trying to play the part of the misunderstood dude here.)

Now, of course I wasn’t sitting around just waiting for her to magically appear in my doorway, so like I said, I was scouting and calculating risk and so on.

The attraction was part physical but it was also the strong possibility that this one might be level-headed but (And seriously, who didn’t see that coming. If there wasn’t a but this would be called “…on Life Being Pretty Sweet Right Now.”) it turns out that she lacks one of the key qualities to being level-headed.

Her downfall….she pines for someone who has no interest.

[Intermission]: For those who know my past and how far I’ve come, you will understand that despite initial appearance, this isn’t pining over an unrequited but merely a joyous rant on how people confuse me at times because this is the part where she stops being the central focus and the subject of bullet dodging takes the fore. [Game On]

Seriously, what is there to gain from it. Like, I get wanting someone. The paper I list my “date-ables” on, I could build a paper airplane the size of a Boeing 757 with the ability to comfortably accommodate…wait, how many people can comfortably fit in a 757 and how much weight would that be in both food and beverages to accommodate said passengers? Fuck, what was I metaphoring about? Damn. Oh yeah. Look, it would be a lot of paper, okay?! Can we stop putting me under all this pressure. I’ve reached my metaphor quota for this day. Either way though, yes the list is large but the emotional investment has been stopped. I no longer throw those emotions into a relationship where there is no dividend. It’s just irresponsible. So why do people still do it? Why throw away your feelings when there is someone out there who will promise better returns on the emotional investment.

Meanwhile, back at the topic of the heading. I feel I’ve dodged the bullet because like I’ve been saying this whole time, I just won’t invest in something that promises me no returns. And as an added huzzah to this successful dodging of imaginary bullet (IMAGINARY not MAGIC. These are life stories, not conspiracy theories. The JFK room is two halls over.) is the fact that a mutual acquaintance explained to me once that she doesn’t seem to be the cause of drama. The recent unfolding of events have proven to the contrary. So I have dodged the most crucial bullet of all. A drama battery.

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2 Responses to “…on The Art of Bullet Dodging”

  1. It’s so true what you say about why do people blow all their time on an emotional investment that doesn’t pay dividends, etc. I smh at people all the time for doing it, then realize that I might be or have done it. I guess it’s a hindsight is 20/20 kind of thing.

  2. Been there….too many times, actually. Cheers to not doing that, anymore!

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