…on Being Gunshy

I heard a great line a few days ago. Let’s see if I can recall it accurately.

“If you leave the house and run into an asshole, well, you have met an asshole. But if you leave the house and spend the day running into assholes, you’re the asshole.”

That makes me a bit gunshy. I’ve been chatting up this lady and have decided that I would enjoy asking her out for a drink. Get to know her. But….

(And you knew there was going to be a but. That’s why I’ve got the number one blog in the country….according to stats that I just made up.)

…I wonder, was it me that wrecked the few that I’ve had in the past couple of years.

I could go on some little discussion about how I’m happy being single and life is less complicated as a bachelor and my hand doesn’t argue and porn is a completely accepted art form and that hobo got what he deserved, but really people, this isn’t a court of law so stop asking about that guy. Neither is it some relationship counselor type forum where we all hug it out and cry about our loneliness (or executed hobos). Nope, it’s a blog where I get to do all the talking and none of the listening. So shut-up about whatever that transients name was and let’s discuss being gunshy.

I’m going to ask her out. I would be a fool not to. She’s very pretty and laughed off my awkwardly phrased comment (She even jokes about the “stalker” vibe, which anybody who knows me knows that I’m just too damned lazy to stalk or even give off a vibe.). But damn if the doubts don’t crop up on occasion. Those little feelings of where did I go wrong, was I the asshole, could I have done anything differently, am I emotionally mature, will they ever find the transients body. But like everyone else, I have to brush those doubts aside. Can’t be having that shit crop up while we talk about our hobbies and dreams and passions and midnight excursions into the city to find the next prey in my newfound love of the sport of human-hunting.

Holy shit!? Was there even a point to this whole rant?

Where was I going with this?

OH YEAH! I remember now. According to a mutual friend of ours, this girl I like already knew that I’m into her. And that got me to thinking.

If she knows that I like her, and has been waiting for me to ask, why didn’t she seize the moment and be all “I figure it’s because you’re a little shy and are therefore working up the nerve to ask me out so allow me to help. Here is my number, and yes, I would enjoy getting a drink with you.” Is it the game of “having” me ask and step-up part of the fun for her? The thrill of being pursued? Does she know that I’m a little gunshy? Or is she just as shy?

Or maybe she already knows about my hobby?

Ladies, any thoughts?

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2 Responses to “…on Being Gunshy”

  1. Most women I know just prefer for guys to make the move and don’t believe that a woman should or should “have” to. They think that it’s the man’s place. I also know women who believe that if a guy doesn’t make the move, then he must not be that interested, i.e. “if he were REALLY interested in me, then he’d ask me out.” I’ve had friends who have moved on and lost interest in a guy rather than ask HIM out.

  2. I agree with that perspective. But could it also be said that sometimes a guy isn’t hurrying along to ask a gal out is because he likes to hedge? He might have trouble asking because he would like to know that there is a mutual interest before taking a gamble and feeling the sting of rejection or at least feeling the female out to see if it’s even worth the risk. Because experience has taught me, the only thing that sucks worse than rejection is starting the process, investing emotionally (even the smallest investment) and seeing no dividends (Love, commitment, trust, mutual respect, etc.) and nothing would insure the gamble more than having a woman abandon tired gender assumptions and show that she too is interested. Like I stated, I will ask her out, gamble be damned lol. But I can’t help but wonder out loud (hence the post) that maybe we as an animal; a species; a soul should stop being so restricted by gender assumptions. Just thinking out loud. I liked your reply and enjoy your blog. Look forward to hearing more.

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