…on The Neverending Quest Of The Safety

Wow! So that’s another one to knock my dick in the dirt. And today started off so good too.

So I’ve been chatting with this gal for a few weeks and we had a lot of chemistry. Note I said had.

Seems that she was one of the oh so many who just wasn’t “sure” if she wanted a relationship. So I figured “What the hey, I’ll give her some space, be all cool and shit and get to know her a little more because we have some chemistry and I could see hooking up with her. No pressure.”

Well, after the New Year’s I decided to up the game and let her know that I was thinking of her. See if I couldn’t get another date. right?

Well, I got a phone call today and was all being playful. She pauses for a brief second and tells me that although she said she wasn’t sure if she was ready, she has started seeing someone. Wow. Really?! Like that?

“But understand, I didn’t mean for it to happen and I don’t know where it’s going but we have been seeing each other for a few weeks. You and I had some really good chemistry but everything got all hectic and I guess the timing was just bad….I don’t know….I just decided to see this other guy.”

I’m trying not to be bitter but I’m really sick and tired of this bullshit. If you don’t like me or I fucking repulse you….just fucking tell me. Don’t give me some bullshit about “timing” or your “readiness” or any of that other shit.

I’m also a bit tired of nobody being ready for a relationship…correction; I’m tired of everybody being ready for a relationship with anybody but me.

Fuck this. I’m done. I’ve just fucking had it. Anybody wants me you can find me when I get back. I’m tired of this place breaking me down every day. “Having a good day? Well, we can’t have that bullshit.” Why? Why can’t I fucking get mine?